another 2011 post

besides that drama in my last post, i think i've been doing alright. actually wait, no that's a lie. i look like i'm doing alright but i'm actually still lost with what to do with my life. i've had this problem for a really long time now. if you asked me what i want to do at this very moment, i want to be at the beach with my friends, listening to my favorite 90s songs and drinking until the sun comes up. but since that's not really possible with classes resuming tomorrow and exams and homework piled up for the next weeks, i'm just blank with what to do. i know should be studying right now. i know i could be more productive somehow. but it's not really what i'm looking for right now.

see, i've been on this "journey" for quite some time already. you know, the whole "searching for something fulfilling to do with my life etc etc" thing. and obviously i still have no answer. i tried joining a new org, meeting new people, going to new places, isolating myself from the rest of the world, trying out new hobbies or interests, spending more time with my family, asking a million people, praying about it and even some sort of meditation time in silence. not sure if i'm doing something wrong or looking in the wrong places, but it still hasn't come.

so what should i do now? honestly, i don't know. it's 2011 and i thought by now i'd have at least some progress. well maybe i did, even if it's just a little bit. but since i don't have any answers or i don't have a clue what else to do, i guess the only think i can do is to continue doing what i've been doing. i'm still looking into trying out new things, meeting new people, exploring the world etc etc. nothing much has changed, just probably with a different perspective now.

the important thing i've learned is just not to give up. i know i'll find it one day. and of course, to continue enjoying life as it goes along. college is really an amazing experience but i'd be stupid if i took it for granted and took everything so seriously. do what you want and do it with no regrets. that's my 2011 resolution.