you really got a hold of me

in reference to what i wrote not so long ago, i finally found the word for it. i never knew such a word even existed:

i guess that's why i have this fear, this fear to never get attached to anything, to never love anybody or anything fully. why? because i know i will lose them if i will.


but you know what, last night was the first time in a long time that i didn't feel scared. it felt good to be with you. i hope i'm doing it right.