break heart

He's trying me again. And it hurts so much. It's like heartbreak but a hundred times worse. Just when I think my life is okay, He shakes things up all over again. But I guess it's time to accept that my life will always be like that. He's testing me if I can be strong. I wish I could be but it's so painful. And when it finally hits me, I'll probably cry buckets then eventually let it go. But I trust Him. I know it's always for the best.

i don't understand

i'm actually really worried for you this week. i got extra scared when you stopped replying. i really hope you're fine. because for some odd reason, i won't be fine if you're not. shit, i don't even know why i care. you just asked me to stay, and i did.

or maybe it's just me

i am a jealous bitch. you did it once, twice and now a third time all in a span of 2 weeks. with the same freaking person. out of all the chongalings in the world, it just had to be her. right after exiting the window, sometimes i click on the link again and read it one more time just to see if i'd feel the same thing the next time around. and sadly, i do. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

so true

Sometimes, we just got to act like there’s nothing wrong.

thinking of

first fault: you fell for your kabarkada. do not fall for your kabarkada

second fault: you like someone, then he likes you back, and when you're starting to get somewhere, you back off like it's the worse thing in the world.

third fault: happened, stopped, happened again. one word: paasa.

conclusion: it's my fault.

me being irrational

i hate boys. can they just die in hell. minus my family and myAQ barkada of course. either than that, can they all just die those stupid flirts. might as well include the entire chinese population if they can fit in hell. DIE.

after the day is done

okay, fine. so honestly i didn't want it THAT badly. but the only reason i felt bad was because it was a blow to my pride. i've never NOT been accepted or NOT get any position i wanted, until now. a complete waste of day, but i did learn that:

1. failure exists in life, ESPECIALLY IN UP. (no wonder they say that UP is the best teacher, not just in terms of academics.)
2. you can't always get what you want
3. once in a while you fail, only to get better
4. once in a while you have to humble yourself
5. if your heart is not in it, don't even bother