year 2009

if i could choose one photo for every month in the year 2009, it would go like this.


january
when i learned the word EPIC.


february
when i just let myself go, completely.


march
when i learned to say goodbye.


april
when roadtrips, sunblock, grass and foodtrips became my bestfriend.


may
when i saw another side of the world.


june
when i realized how truly lucky i am.


july
when i met the ultimate threat (whom i conquered later on).


august
when i let myself go, but in a far different way than i could ever imagine.


september
when i realized that high school is actually forever.


october
when i realized that college could possibly also be forever.


november
when i began work with my second family.


december
when i look back at my year and be thankful for all those nights i will remember.



it was a good year, no, an amazing year, despite the few regrets i still have. but hey, it's time to move on. it's 2010 already.

because we like to party hard

at 2 in the morning, i texted: "the post-hit feeling i have now feels so much uhm happier compared to post-hit after jma parties or whatever. i don't know, what does that tell you."

he texted back: "well, then now i guess you know how you really feel. :D"

true, i know how i feel about two things. first, about you, i'm starting the year right by telling you off. i don't know when or how and i don't know what's going to happen after (i just hope it doesn't shatter our barkada) but i know now that i have to. i just never really liked you enough.

secondly, about the best friends i'll ever had. if i could replay last night over and over again i would. i can just be myself and have a good time. i don't have to worry about what i look like or how i act because all 17 of you don't care. laglagan na last night and yet all we could do was laugh it off. so to the best barkada in the world (i am biased), particularly to my three non-judging bestfriends, i would take a million shots for all of you, even if that leaves me piss ass drunk lying all over the place.


oh christmas 09, you make me happy.

on that stable bed

oh and i've made up my mind. i will find the right time to tell you in your face what i should have said long ago. but i don't know when that right time is. i can't tell you now cause it's christmas. and i'm scared to tell you within the school year because we are forced to work together. and even when the school year is over, i'm still worried that telling you might ruin our barkada now. so if you think about, there's never really a right time. but i have to. i think at some point, i have a right to be selfish. besides, i don't think i've been anything close to a lover. i've always been the heartbreaker. i'm cold like that. and i guess that's what i'm about to do again, as much as i hate doing it. this is obviously proof that i should not have anyone just yet. i don't like being pulled down cause that's how i always feel. so i've finally placed a "standard" on when i think i'm ready - when i meet someone who can push me up rather than bring me down, i know i can finally settle. but until then, i'll just be me.

what happens at the party

i want to be able to say one day when i grow old that late nights with your barkada in college make up for all the crap and stress you go through, particularly that one late night on dencio's roofdeck overlooking the village lights with nothing but sisig, drinks and friends. it's been an amazing week so far. usually my last week before christmas is always filled with stress because of high school exams. but for the first time, it just feels good to be in school (because i actually do enjoy being in school) but having absolutely nothing to worry about. just a lot of freecuts, takas trips and no apparent reasons to stay late. then there's still lantern parade and a couple more christmas parties to look forward to.
good times are forever.

at first, when i see you cry

but if you're scared it only means you want to take the chance but you're just not sure. no one is ever ready, only we can tell ourselves when we are ready to make the biggest decision of our life. TRUE STORY ;)

since when did facebook start giving really good advice?

you can't always get what you want

i need to stop proving that i CAN, because maybe i just really can't. i think i'd be happier if i stopped trying. get it into your head please - NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. YOU ARE FINE THE WAY YOU ARE. and you don't need any guy to tell you that.

you can't always get what you want
but if you try sometimes, you just might find
you get what you need

push it one more time

i'm supposed be doing my homework for later, but screw it, i just want to say that i'm glad it's OVER. this weekend was tiring, physically and mentally. but even if i sound so selfish for saying this, it felt soooo good to hear all those "congrats" and "good job" remarks. it's like my fuel to continue.

don't stop, make it pop

i'm proud to be a red titan.

even if i totally screwed us over for mr and mrs bacbacan. and played the most intense volleyball game in my life. best out of 5 but we played all the way til the finish and lost by a few points to the "golden centaurs". even i don't know how we survived 11 sets of death. my arms were ready to give up already since they're so bruised and sore, not to mention my left contact fell out of my eye in the middle of a game so i had to rush to the bathroom. but whatever, next year. watch out for it. gaganti din ako haha.

p.s. it's my "event" tomorrow and i'm nervous as hell.

if you want to go somewhere

it's coming back. i'm starting to think you're a hassle again. you know why, because it was always for the wrong reasons. from the very start, i don't think i picked a reason good enough to keep it hanging.



ironically, just a few hours ago, i was so ready to tell you in front of your face already that i actually like you.